Coming Home

I don't know if I even know where to begin this post. I get myself in these holes of not blogging for a long time and so then I don't ever want to do it because I have so much to catch up on. I could spend hours telling you what has happened over the last four months or I can just take a couple minutes to summarize and tell you how amazing my life is and how truly blessed I am.

Coming back to Utah was the best thing ever, being with my friends and family has been amazing and I am truly blessed. Just days after I came home I convinced Brandon that he needed to come over and say hi. I questioned what I was doing from the minute I sent the text message and as I sit here today I am glad I just listened to that instinct. I am in the most LOVING beautiful amazing relationship I could ever ask for. Being gone for months and learning all that I did really helped me grow up and realize what I have in my life. It has been adventure after adventure with Brandon and learning experience after learning experience. He has quickly become my best friend and just someone that I really enjoy spending all my time with. We started a bucket list for the summer and have done things from swimming to getting pedicures, watched fireworks and went four wheeling. He makes me one happy girl and I love him so much.

I love my apartment and having a space of my own. I am on roommate number 2 and she moves out in a little over 2 weeks, what I am learning is that I am just at a point in my life where I get to have a space to myself and that I need to stop trying to take care of everyone. I can still love them and be there for them but that does not mean that i need to take care of them. I am so thankful for this lesson and it has really helped me grow up and see a side of myself that is a great trait but it also hinders me. So very excited to have a space of my own and just be by myself.

This week I have had the oppertunity to face feeling and emotions that i have tried to hide from for the last 2 years. Brandon's dad passed away very unexpectedly. Seeing the man I love going threw a pain I know all to well has absolutely broke my heart. Never in a million years would I wish this pain on my worse enemy let alone the person I love more then anything. We have spent all but 12 hrs away from each other in the last week. There have been a lot of amazing moments and other moments that have given me the oppertunitity to look at life in a different way and learn something new about myself. I have always known that I was not an easy person to be in a relationship with but these last couple weeks i have really gotten to learn just how fragile life is and that the things I take so much time getting mad about are not really worth getting mad about. I knew that I wanted to spend forever with Brandon but this week I really learned just how much I want that, he is honestly one of the most amazing, strong, loving, caring, giving people I know. He does anything and everything to put a smile on my face and is the first person to wipe tears from my eyes. I am very lucky to get to share this life with him. We have become so much closer this week. It is amazing how God works, even in time of sadness and disspair he brings light and hope and happiness. It has been a beautiful week.

Love you all....