My Simple Amazing Life!!!: Christmas!!!

This holiday started out as a very hard one for me to digest this year, I really really missed my dad and for the first time was experiencing it without my friends and family. I am not going to try and say that I was strong the whole way through cause I was far from it, there were some tears that fell from my eyes and a couple moments over the last two days that I just had to step away and take some time by myself; however this was one of the most beautiful Christmases I got to experience in my life. I am so thankful to be so warmly welcomed into a home and a family that teaches me so many great lessons and really allows me to see life in a completely new light. I grew up in a home where I knew my dad loved my mom and I knew my mom loved my dad they worked as a team. I saw my parents fight but I also saw them make up. My dad was not scared to wash dishes or vacuum and my mom was not scared to mow the lawn or take out the trash they worked as a team. As I got older it became the norm to see all my friends parents getting divorced and as I got even older to see my friends starting to get divorced. For as long as I could remember I have wanted to get married and have a family! I wanted the BEAUTIFUL wedding and the happily ever after. When I started to see everyone I loved so dearly going through divorce or long term relationships ending I became VERY weary of the fact and for the last little while didn't know if marriage was really what I wanted. I was quoted many times saying, "I don't want to date because I don't want to get married, it just ends in divorce and unhappiness." I was terrified I would become another statistic in a not so positive bucket, so I was staying as far away from that as I possibly could. My life and perspective on life changed the minute I took this job as a nanny. I walked into a home filled with so much love, so much love that I didnt even get to really grasp it when I was going home every night I really got to see the beauty of it when I was here full time. For the first time in a long time I got to see a love so very pure and sweet honestly something that opened my heart and eyes to what can be. I am not saying that Cameron and Amy are perfect or that they act like the whole world is great I am saying it is REAL. When the times are tough they are tough and when they are good they are good. It is beautiful. It is so reassuring to see a guy open the door for his wife, or take her on dates, it is beautiful to see Cameron & Amy with their babies. Elia & Nixon are so very lucky to have such beautiful loving people for their parents. The love that they have for their little ones no matter how hard it gets you can still fill it throughout the house. Watching Elia & Nixon grow has quickly entered my list of one of the things I am most grateful for. When I was crying last night downstairs alone while Cameron & Amy put the babies to bed I really got to reflect on where the feelings were coming from. As I wiped my tears Amy came walking down the stairs with Nixon (who has been a little stinker the last couple days) cause he wanted a bottle, I got to take him from her and just snuggle this little boy who had been crying in my arms and just love him, when his big blue eyes looked up at me and smiled everything was okay. It is such a humbling experience that they know me, they know that I love them, and I know they can feel the love. It is BEAUTIFUL!!!! and it is hard. I nannied for 5 kids, and after walking away from that I said, "yep i still want 5 kids," when people would ask how many kids I wanted I would say 5. That was a conversation I had with all my exs and was very clear on. Today I am so thankful for the life lessons I have been taught as Elia & Nixon's nanny. I am totally ok having 1-2 kids 3 max... Wow I never thought I would say that and actually mean it! Trust me I mean it!!!! Thank you god for helping me see this.

Today was a day filled with joy, love, tears and many new life experiences. I got to go to the beach on Christmas and relax in 75 degree weather. Doesnt get better then that! I was included in every part of the families daily activities. I am so thankful... We did things a little different then what I am used to and wow was it fun... When we woke up we opened our stockings from Santa and had cinnimon roles. We got to lounge around make appitizers all day and just be together. We walked to the beach and the babies got to put their feet in the ocean for the first time, what a precious moment that was and I loved being part of it. Cameron and Amy when shopping for the babies this year since they couldnt open their gifts shopped seperately and the other parent opened the gifts they bought. It was so fun!!! Nixon & Elia sure are loved... After we got the babies down it was time for a not so traditional dinner of ham and mashed potatoes but o my goodness amazing. We had osso bucco & rasoto for dinner followed by red velvet cream cheese cupcakes and I can say you all should be jealous it was DELICIOUS!!! We then had adult present time and it was so fun! I know I am loved and I love them all in return. I honestly don't feel like a nanny I really feel like a part of this family. I know that I can turn to Cameron & Amy for anything. Really I am truly blessed.

Thank you to everyone for standing in support of me and loving me! I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas filled with lots of memories!!!

I will attach some pics for everyone to see! Love You all!!!